What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.

Was the World Made for Man?

Virtue never has been as respectable as money.

Truth is stranger than fiction — to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.

None but the dead have free speech.